Walking down the street, I felt the hectic energy around me.
The city was buzzing, and the faces seemed like a blur. My mind was repeating, how are other people doing this? Then the words came to me – ‘just notice’. For a moment, I slowed down and did just that – notice, notice, notice.
Suddenly, I felt the sand crunching on the hard brick surface under my feet and the freezing air inside my nostrils. I was actually very cold and thirsty. ‘Why am I doing this to myself?’ The next thought was, ‘because I don’t have time!’. I checked my phone and saw the 20-minute slot. My shoulders relaxed, my breath deepened and I walked over to the little corner door next to a big window.
Inside my favorite coffee shop, I felt the warm embrace of ground coffee beans and freshly baked cinnamon oat cookies. I have spent many delicious breaks here. All those memories of my time here developed my love for this spot right by the window.
A moment later, I was sitting with a warm cup in my cold hands. I saw the continuous stream of people rushing by and for a brief moment, I felt the pressure of my day. But I wanted this to be a nourishing break. In the middle of all this, I kept thinking about the words of my new yoga teacher – ‘Wait, take your time and enjoy’.
But you see, that’s what’s so difficult for me. In my mind I have the idea of resting, but I’m not allowing myself to do so. How can I rest right now? I know the time is ticking. I notice my thoughts are racing.
Warming my hands on my cup, I keep thinking, ‘why is it so difficult to slow down?‘
Slowing Down and Really Noticing
But just being here now and noticing all these things, I am amazed at how the words of my caring teacher have already been affecting me. Her words have made an impact. It’s not even so much what she said, but how she said it, and how she moved.
At first, I didn’t notice the difference. Her words felt a bit repetitive, but now I’m noticing how nourishing her clear and simple words feel.
I sense my breath moving in and out, my fingers being warmed by my clay cup. My eyes are wandering slowly, taking in colors, shapes, movements and more. Every once in a while, I take another sip and enjoy the flavor of ginger spiced chai and I feel somewhat a softening of my being.
I wonder what time it is. A quick nervous check on my phone. Only a few minutes have passed! I felt like I was in a different space and time, and it’s just wonderful! Around me a few women are working on their laptops. What a great idea to come here for this. I reach for the journal in my bag. How can I keep my experience of this morning so that it will not be lost when I get up and walk back into the sea of people outside?
At first I didn’t feel much because I was just rushing to my next appointment. I was also doubting myself, because I did not feel well. But I know that a brief moment of allowing myself to notice was going to make all the difference. So I jot my thoughts down:
- I started noticing the sand under my feet and I felt how cold I was.
- This broke the spell of busyness and the preoccupation and I realized that it does not have to be this way.
- I figured that it was not true that I did not have time.
- I saw that my favorite coffee shop was actually nearby.
- Really sensing and changing my plan stopped the autopilot.
- Everything else came naturally. I went in and felt the warm embrace of the space.
- Allowing myself to pause and enjoy, and this softened my whole being.
What a chain of little mindful events and how this made an impact on my experience!
I note in my journal that I will set times for breaks like this more often. I’m blocking 20-minute slots for the rest of my week.
I take the last sip of my chai. As I walk out the door, I’m making a mental note to share this story with my teacher the next time I go to class.
It’s amazing how nourishing a little more awareness can be.